Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Beware of Tyranny from Toilet Paper

The Seinfeld show episode "The Stall", coined the phrase "can you spare a square". In this episode, the character Elaine uses the bathroom and there is no toilet paper in her stall. She asks the woman in the next stall if she can "spare a square" and the unknown woman says no. At the end of the episode, Elaine finds out who the woman was, runs into the bathroom before her, and takes all of the toilet paper. It had me laughing out loud. As with many Seinfeld episodes, it exaggerated something silly in every day life for our amusement. But this was TV. It is fiction. This is not supposed to be real life. I think most people know that. But then again, maybe not.

In response to the imaginary global warming crisis, it seems various enviro-fascists want to control every aspect of our lives, and I mean EVERY ASPECT. So they propose suggestions on how we should live our lives. One of those being Sheryl Crow, who said:
"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required."

This could be a sequel to the Seinfeld episode. If this wasn't so ridiculous, it would be funny. Exactly how would this work? Would the government establish a special Toilet Paper Czar to ration and monitor every citizen's toilet paper usage? Would each citizen receive a certain monthly allotment based upon how much the government decides one is allowed to use per day? Would all home/office toilets be abolished, requiring citizens to utilize government designated public toilets and receive one square per visit? How would this be enforced? Would there be a designated Citizen Roll Authorized Police Force or "CRAP force", for short?

Surely, I jest. Or then again, maybe not. These are the elements of tyranny and government control of everything in the lives of citizens, right down to the toilet paper. If you think this wouldn't happen in real life, think again. Cuba declares it has a toilet paper shortage and so toilet paper is rationed. It is not because the toilet paper factory is "backed up". It is because the oppressive regime thrives on controlling the people. Citizens desperate for things like food, water, medicine, and even toilet paper are easier to control. Sadly, it isn't just Cuba either. Years ago, I visited Russia. Store shelves were empty of basic items for common every day needs. A person couldn't buy what they needed, even if they had the money. So it was no surprise when I discovered there were no toilet paper rolls in any of the stalls. Upon my entrance to the ladies room, after paying the the designated ruble entrance fee, there would be a woman who handed me a square for my visit. Even with that, the toilet paper was like sand paper, and could probably scrape paint off a wall. Luckily, I was prepared and had packed my own. But if the enviro-fascists get their way, it won't be a matter of riding out the trip by sticking a roll in a suitcase. Toilet paper will be sold and traded on the black market, like many other necessities in oppressive regimes.

While it all sounds ridiculous, it is not a secret that this is actually happening in other corners of the world. We shouldn't overlook it and think it couldn't happen here. It starts with small things that no one notices, and just gets bigger and bigger until tyranny is achieved. But they don't sell it as taking away your freedom. They don't view it as infringing upon our God given rights to be free. They will claim it is in the name of saving the planet from ourselves. So what if the better hygiene in developed societies is no longer killing off citizens from such diseases like cholera, plagues, or dysentery. It seems the enviro-fascists aren't concerned with that. They will never admit that modern conveniences keep us free from disease, and people free from disease are free to live their lives.

No, they don't like anything promoting freedom. It is not on their agenda, except maybe when it comes to themselves. They don't expect to actually practice what they preach anyway. I think they suggest these things to be enforced amongst other people, but not themselves. I wonder what enviro-fascists like Al Gore or Sheryl Crow would do if their toilet paper usage was actually rationed. Or what Sean Penn or Michael Moore would do if they realized what it was like to really live in a fascist regime that they so lovingly promote. I think all of them would definitely need more than one square, since they are all full of crap.

So, while we are on the verge of tyranny and trying to take back the nation, many citizens are stocking up on food, water, seeds, ammo, and other necessities. I hope they don't forget the toilet paper. And if tyranny does take hold, may the Toilet Paper Czar and the CRAP force have to fend for themselves.

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